the continuation… please read along, relate and learn…

This Pseudo-relationship stage for a time can be fun.  Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng “kalaro” Pero huwag kang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduan. 

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan? Iba’t-ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang.  Puwedeng “buti na yan kesa wala” or puwede na iyang “pantawid-gutom.” Meaning habang wala pa iyong real thing, don na muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.  For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all.  It would be fun, if all you are after is that “kilig” feeling.

But then, although its only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions are real and usually , in this kind of set up, ang girl and laging lugi.  Una, you can’t ask him to commit.  Since it’s not really a relationship, you can’t demand from your partner.  Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role is his life. You can’t expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka nya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can’t be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin nya.  Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can’t. Because you are not sure if he’ll like it.  Baka mapahiya ka lang.  This stage will always make you wonder where you are in a relationship.  Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much?  What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn’t. What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships.  It is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship.  Wala kang pinanghahawakan. 

Kasi ang pseudo-relationship, there is NO “US”. Meron lang “YOU and ME”, hindi “US”.

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain lang din ang mararanasan mo.  Kaso hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtung pa rin yun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.

Ang hirap ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you’d end up hurting yourself in the process.  Pero pwede namang maiwasan ang pain eh. Pwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling without thinking of the consequences.  But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequences. Dahil ang “parang kayo pero hindi” stage are bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya..almost, but not quite.

Fresh from mail.

This was just forwarded to me, a semi-chain email…It has the usual doom and gloom if you don’t forward it.  You have a choice not to read it or just go for it.  It has a rather good message…specially ifor those that are in pseudo-relationships.

Parang Kayo, Pero Hindi.

She is a 24-year old copywriter.  He is an architect.  They met and became lovers in college.  They broke up last year but remained to be “friends”.  They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she’s okay. They still date.  They still have sex.  They don’t see anyone else.  It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn’t know the real score.  Even her friends are in the dark.  “Parang sila, pero hindi.”

She works in a telecom.  He is reviewing for the board.  They are in the same barkada.  They talk on the phone till 4 am.  He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting something.  Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight  inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor?  Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi?  Sila Kaya?  “He hasn’t admitted anything” she rants “But I let him hug and kiss me. Parang kami, pero hindi.”

They work together in an ad agency.  After office, they would watch a movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta.  She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous.  They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it.  He said “I Love You” once, but she wasn’t sure if she heard him correctly because they both were drunk then.  But one thing she is sure of, her feelings for him, she likes him.  There’s just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

She is a 28-year old virgin.  He’s a 35-year old bachelor. Both mountaineers.  They became close during their climbs.  After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out.  They have been doing this for months.  She wants to believe that “sila na” but then she’s not really sure about it.  “We don’t talk about it but it doesn’t matter” she’d tell her friends. “What’s important is that I am enjoying this —whatever it is.”

The ‘parang kayo, pero hind” stage.  Others call it MU or mutual understanding (Mag-Un/Murag Uyab). Pseudo-boyfriends,  Pseudo-girlfriends.  Flings.  Almost  like a relationship, but not quite.  It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. 

Pwedeng may verbal agreement, pwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi.. You just let your gestures do the talking for you.  Walang pormal na ligawan na nangayari.  Hindi kayo “on”.  Pero sa kilos nyo, sa mga sinasabi nyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of “relationship” can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up.  You still love each other and you want to be with each other but your  broke up for a reason.  And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw nyo na munang magkabalikan.  It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam.  Possible din na ayaw niyo munang magseryoso kaya kunwa-kunwariaan lang. TESTING LANG.

 Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo-usually the guy-may karelasyon na.  Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipagbreak doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman nya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi sila nangangaliwa kasi “hindi naman kayo”. 

Oh my God, I’m speechless waray nak masiring! I cannot believe it…hehehe! Imagine our very own website is now the link of Abuyog Leyte sa The Official Government Portal of the Philippines website: http://www.gov.ph/index.php sit ira Local Government Directory didto. HANEP TSONG! Usa ini nga garbo sit aton website. Wow! It’s really great! Pero masiring nakon deri pa gad kita official website sit Abuyog Leyte kay siring pa waray pa basbas sit padi…hehehe so sometimes understand nala kamo usahay deri ak maka answer sit iyo mga questions labi na related sit aton pang gobyernohan sa Abuyog labi na san mga nag email sa akon. One man show la gad kita dinhi sa aton website. Anyway,  salamat nala san nagbutang san aton website dida sini nga website sit Pilipinas, deri la basta basta nga website huh, it is the official website of the Philippines. Mabuhay!